Learn Relationship Success Today – Practical Guidelines and Useful Advice from The Inspiring EsquireJuly 26, 2010
1) Don’t expect a committed relationship to be successful until you have completely examined yourself and have become comfortable with “who you are” – fully addressed, resolved and come to terms with your family of origin issues: first “you,” then “committed relationship,” then family.
2) Honestly and objectively evaluate your abilities and your needs and separately your partner’s abilities and their needs with respect to:
(a) ability to express appreciation and need to have appreciation expressed for the things each contributes to the relationship,
(b) ability to be affectionate and extent of need to have your partner be affectionate toward you,
(c) ability to provide affirmation of love for your partner and extent of need to have your partner provide affirmations to you,
(d) ability to be passionate and extent of need to have your partner be passionate, and
(e) ability to share emotional, physical and spiritual intimacy and need to have your partner share emotional, physical and spiritual intimacy:
do your needs match your partner’s abilities?
do your abilities match your partner’s needs?
3) In and out of the presence of your partner, affirmatively express and demonstrate a high degree of respect for your partner – never put your partner down – remind yourself of their great qualities.
4) Be your partner’s greatest supporter and biggest fan – always remember why have you chosen a committed relationship with your partner.
5) Treat your partner with kindness at all times which is completely different than “not being mean.”
6) Comfortably give your partner permission to privately discuss with you ways you can improve yourself and accept their comments as acts of love.
7) Test your relationship by observing whether or not you and your partner cherish and love your time alone with each other. Beware of always seeming to find another couple to go out with.
8) Focus on developing similar interests so that you can do things together.
9) Commit to scheduling a set time each day to “touch base” and fulfill that commitment.
10) If you have agreed with each other to have a monogamous relationship, know that, if you violate that agreement, you have chosen a short term physical thrill over your ability to share absolute trust with your partner forever whether or not they find out.
11) There is a difference between “love” and “in love” and both must be present, and naturally stated frequently for a committed relationship to be truly fulfilling – contrary to popular belief committed relationship “love” is not supposed to be “unconditional,” their are limits and conditions. Only a mother’s love for her infant baby is truly unconditional.
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